


Fear

by dawnwhxre



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Cursed Town, Horror, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Violence, a lot of ooc but cool, bad grammar, i tried my best so please be gentle, underage smoking/drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-08-27 07:03:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16697689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawnwhxre/pseuds/dawnwhxre
Summary: Yukhei comes back to his old town after ten months, asking himself if he should go back to college. His home it's a small town far from the big and scary Seoul city, so he feels relief when he's back. But everything has changed, especially his younger brother, Chenle.After thirteen years of living there, finally notes something is strange in that town, something that's poising his family, friends and enemies. And finally, they're all back.





	1. home

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!!  
> This is a story I'll be thinking on doing after I read IT by Stephen King. Also, I'm not a natural English speaker myself, this is a way to challenge myself and learn too. I'll be grateful if you, guys, can point out what I'm doing wrong or needs better explanation. 
> 
> This is my first fanfic written in English! And NCT has to be there, because they're so many and that means many characters.
> 
> Please, enjoy it!

Everything has changed. It wasn't simple, like a new furniture distribution nor his room being a new office for his father. It was a deeper change, the kind that shocked him to the point he couldn't recognize his own _home._ Firstly, was Chenle, his younger brother that used to be the I-can't-be-calm-and-quiet-for-five-minutes type months ago. Now, was several inches taller and many pounds thinner and had no spark anymore, his voice used to be loud and squeaky, Yukhei said it was like a baby dolphin. Chenle greeted him with a whisper. But that wasn't the most unsettling thing, it was his eyes, his eyes didn't bright like any other fourteen years old teen should. However, it had to be puberty, right? It was the physical and hormonal changes making his brother look weird in a short time lapse, but his parents weren't going through puberty.

They were a movie-like cheesy marriage: married for love, escaped from China to Korea, become successful, beautiful house, good children, awesome cars, friends of everyone... But, when his father opened the door, he was like a shadow, He was always a quiet man, his lack of loudness wasn't uncommon, he even looked exactly the same as the last time Yukhei saw him, but he could feel he wasn't okay. There were new wrinkles, another way of pursing the lips and a nervous look to the corners every two or three minutes, and he was wearing black. Even his father said black was only for funerals. His mother was in a worst condition, she stayed in her bedroom until lunch. While cooking, his father said she was resting for a strong migraine Yukhei didn't remember she ever suffered of. 

When he saw her, she was pale, haggard, complaining about a strong headache and all the light. She hugged him and gave him a kiss on the head, like he hadn't been absent for ten months, but for ten minutes. Once, he spent a whole weekend with his school class and, when he returned, his mother insisted in sleeping with him all week, because she missed him that much. In that moment, she wasn't looking at him properly.

At lunch, Chenle decided he wasn't hungry and went back upstairs, none of his parents seemed to care. He ate with them alone. His father asked about college, his classes, his notes, his friends ("how's doing the little Taeyong?")... Yukhei lost interest with each question, until he only answered with monosyllables, neither his father nor his mother cared about it. He asked about them, how there were  felling, why they were acting like something really bad happened while he was absent, did someone died? But they only moved their heads and dismissive his question.

"Your mother had been feeling bad lately" said his father, "she's going to a group and it's helping her".

His mother only talked to say she wasn't hungry anymore and, same as Chenle, went upstairs. His father received a call from his office, apologized to Yukhei and left too. Yukhei was sitting with a cold meal in front of him and alone, staring at it like an idiot. He came back home, where he spent his happiest time, next to the people he loved the most, but it was as cold as his parent's meal. He left the dishes on the kitchen's isle, took a glass of water and took his phone out of his pocket, seeing his friends' Instagram stories. If things were gonna be like that, he'd rather be in that silly excursion his friends were doing. His mother entered the kitchen, taking his untouched glass of water and swallowing some pills. Her clothes were all black, black blouse, black coat, black sunglasses and a black hat that hid her face in some angles. Yukhei, quietly, stared at her, how she drank and cleaned her mouth with bony fingers.

"Honey, I forgot you were coming and your room isn't clean. Tonight, sleep with your brother. I'll be back later", and she left just like that.

 _"This is shit..."_ , he said to himself, suddenly feeling angry. Nine or ten months ago, they acted completely different. His mother cried saying goodbye, his father patted his back proudly and the evil and little Chenle hugged him, whispering like it was a secret to his ear: "I'll miss you, bro"... He missed them too, but instead of hugging him and crying for his return, they barely looked at him, his mother even forgot he was coming to visit. It was bullshit. His mother jumped into a car, ignited it and left. Everything was dead silent, Yukhei could even heard his own breathing and heartbeating louder than normal... It made him feel bad.

He went upstairs, planning to crash in his brother's bed, send some messages to his friends (admitting to Taeyong it was a shitty idea to go back) and take a nap. The stairs were made of some expensive wood, always bright and polished in his memory; now they were full of dust and opaque, the family photos all over the walls were full of dust too. He couldn't imagine his mother allowing the state of abandon, his house was being swallowed along with his family. He saw the corridor and the three doors of their bedrooms, their parents had the biggest one, and on the other side was Chenle's and Yukhei's rooms, identical in everything except in decoration. Chenle's room was nearer to the stairs, he immediately went, but stopped when he saw his own old bedroom (full of ten months old dirt) door open. He didn't have to be a genius to know  who was in.

Since they put their feet in that house, his brother loved Yukhei's bedroom and hated his own. Almost every night, he jumped into Yukhei's bed to sleep, saying he was scare of the monster under his bed, or he spent his free time playing or reading on his floor while Yukhei was at school or hanging out. Not even in his most rebellious and angry teenager days, he dared to throw out Chenle from his room, his brother looked at him with his big and frightened eyes begging him to not let him go there. To Yukhei it was a kid's fear, something powerful but harmless. His parents, on the other side, thought differently, every time Chenle was caught in his bedroom, they'd scold him until he returned by his own feet. Once, Yukhei accepted to change room with his brother for a night, to show him there was nothing to be afraid of. Chenle agreed, but he was choosing what night. It was a Wednesday.

He told his brother, with snug smile, it wasn't really bad, but he would never forget that night. He remembered to fell asleep at the same hour as always, but he woke up uneasy, sure he was being stared from a corner, but couldn't know which; and his feet were touched for cold and bony fingers. He felt four hours that cold hands running up and down for his legs, he was being watched from every dark corner, suddenly everything _felt_ ten times darker. Under the bed, he was sure there was something, formless and too weak to get out, but it was there, ready to devour him if it had the chance. He was tempted to see, but he knew if he showed down his head, he would be killed, so he didn't. All night, he felt the breathing of that thing, the up and down movement of its lungs and chest. He fell asleep by exhaustion.

Next morning, he told Chenle he could sleep well, because only babies were afraid of shadows and dark, but he never closed his door to Chenle. Chenle could always enter to his room, Chenle still entered in his room. Instead of going to his brother's room, he entered on his own, seeing his brother seated on the floor with a pair of earphones plugged to his ears and his eyes closed. The room was really dirty, full of spiderwebs and old dust, it didn't smell well but Chenle didn't seem to mind. For a second, he had the impression Chenle wasn't alone, but of course he was. Yukhei patted his brother's shoulder, Chenle looked at him and smiled, finally a real reaction. Chenle's eyes sparkled while he took out his earphones.

"Lele" said, smiling, "wanna go out?" Yukhei said.

Chenle looked like they were finally meeting after ten months, the reaction Yukhei was waiting hours before. Chenle was literally looking at him for the first time, recognizing him as his brother and not just some other shadow pinned to the walls. It was strange, the strangest, he felt he was suffocating and locked in a tiny space, he felt claustrophobic, he couldn't breath... Maybe was passing out, his sight was blurry. Chenle took his hand and dragged him out of the house. Once outside, Yukhei felt everything disappearing, he was light and fine, he just overreacted. Chenle laughed and distracted him, passed an arm around his shoulder, without caring about their height differences.

"I missed you so much!"

Suddenly, he was the full-of-energy-and-cute fluffy fourteen years old teenager Yukhei was expecting to see. His voice is definitely deeper, but not that much, there was remaining that high tone that sounded like a dolphin when he screamed. His eyes shone and Yukhei felt himself like a sixteen years old, escaping from highschool with his younger brother, on their way to eat some ice cream again. They were, in fact, two brothers affected by nostalgia, missing each other even though one left to pursue his dreams and the other was planning to do exactly the same. But, in Yukhei's eyes, in that precise moment, Chenle was just a fourteen years old boy, still with childhood innocence buried in his bones, and loved him for that. He missed him so much he just had to rubbed rudely Chenle's head with his giant hands. The sun shone, reflecting in glasses and windows, the weather was amazing, it was a real summer. Lots of young people were just sitting or walking, a couple sharing a milkshake and laughing, a group of twelve of thirteen years old kids were racing in their bikes and screaming jokes as loudly as they could... Yukhei was the boy in the bike, the half of the cheesy couple or just one the boys sitting on a bank watching the day end. It was familiar, it was everything Yukhei remembered but better, more beautiful... It was strange.

When he gained his scholarship to study Medicine in Seoul University, he thought he would die of happiness, his biggest and wildest dream was leave that small town, see the world, live in a big city... He hated there. He had few memories of Hong Kong, its smell of cars and pollution, the big buildings, the darkness of its sky. He thought it was his perfect place to live. Maybe, he wasn't wrong, but Seoul was so big he felt insignificant and lonely... His parents refused first, he begged them to let him go, and they accepted and Yukhei thought happiness was going to kill him. He left with Kun, who would study gastronomy, and in Seoul Taeyong are Yuta were waiting to receive them. The first months were awesome, but the the classes started to be hard, the nights too long, the food was bad... To make it short, he missed home. Before summer break started, Yuta offered him to go on a travel to the other side of the country and/or, luckily, go to Osaka, where Yuta born. Yukhei refused almost immediately, instead he asked why Yuta or Taeyong never returned. Yuta frowned and left, Taeyong answered him:  _"There's nothing to do in such boring town. You'll regret not going with us"._ Yukhei felt surprised, Taeyong had a younger brother and was counting days to bring him to Seoul.

If Chenle declined his offer to hang out, he probably would be in a bus back to Seoul, asking for his friends to wait for him and going to that trip. It wasn't like he felt motivated to camp on the streets of Osaka as Yuta planned (it was insane, actually) but Kim Jungwoo, his classmate, was up to that, saying it was something he never tried, and his friends were going too (that didn't motivate Yukhei), but Jungwoo was going... Yukhei smiled, waiting for his brother to pick a ice cream flavor. Chenle seemed to be ten years old again, his nose against the glass and whispering he just wish to have them all. Finally, he chooses. They sat on bank park, Yukhei looking at Chenle, while the younger keeps talking about anything, like his new friend Renjun, who also comes from China after living all his life with his grandparents, or Park Jisung, someone Yukhei should remember because he was cousin of Jung Jaehyun, who was also in Seoul, wasn't Jaehyun his friend too? Chenle said no one else had ever returned, Yuta, Taeyong, Doyoung, Jaehyun, except Johnny who came two times the passed year. It was after Yukhei left, Chenle saw him near the cinema, looked like a ghost. 

Yukhei barely could added something, Chenle was rambling without taking a single breath.  _"It's like he hasn't spoken in all this time..."_ thought, and maybe Chenle couldn't talk as freely with someone else. Yukhei remembered being younger and telling his father he had more friends than just Kun, Mark Lee and Yuta, the only foreigners in that time, but speaking honestly... Yukhei's family was one of the first chinese to establish in the town, for him was especially hard to understand and speak fluently korean and abandon his old and strong accent, and they were rich. Kids didn't like him at first, his only friends were Mark, Yuta and Kun. He never told his parents, because he was pretty sure they'll talk to Jaehyun and other's parents for push him or punch him that one time... or more than just one? He couldn't remember clearly. But, at the sweet age of eight to twelve, it was frightening the idea of involve parents. When they all reached highschool, bullying stopped at least for him, because he was tall, big and good on sports, if Doyoung or Jaehyun messed with him (or Kun, or Yuta, or Taeyong) he would beat the shit out of them, though they still molested Taeyong an awful lot. He stopped to be Mark's friend in his first highschool year.

"I'm really glad to see you again, bro"

"Really? You've said that too much"

"Yeah, I mean... When you're here, it's like I could finally breath. You make things lighter, that's why I missed you here... But, I'd rather you to be like Yuta hyung or Taeyong hyung and never go back here"

Yukhei almost said something, but he fell silent again. Chenle wasn't looking at him as before, he was looking his feet, occasionally licking his ice cream.

"Eh? Why?"

"This town it's cursed or something, it's bad. When I graduate, I'll go too. To Seoul or back to China... I don't care, anything is better than this place"

"But why you say that? Why do you wanna go?", said Yukhei, noticing their voices had dropped to whispers.

Yukhei tried to remember quickly why he wanted to go, the answer was simple and automatic: to pursue his dreams, have a better future, leave that small town, and he had the chance to go to one of the best college in South Korea. But, school didn't interest him when he was younger, until a counselor talked about scholarships in class and Yukhei starting studying, raising his notes and joining clubs and sport teams, like Doyoung and Taeyong did before him. Suddenly, he remembered he was desperate to leave that place, like his life depended on it, he felt finally free when he saw the silhouette of Seoul city. Chenle tried to find the exact words to explain, but it was hard, almost impossible. Yukhei, suddenly, had no hurry to knew what his brother would say, he'd rather finish his ice cream and do something else. Chenle looked at him again, with his eyes as rounded as the first time he confessed him about the monster under his bed, but everything he saw was a hand pushing his brother's head until he felt, then a couple of laughs. He helped his brother to get up, while Chenle cleaned the ice cream of his face with his already dirty shirt, and watched who did it. Yukhei recognized him at first sight. Lee Jeno's face had never change since he was five years old, the same pretty half-moon smile, really beautiful if he wasn't mean and crooked. He was pointing at Chenle and laughing, with his arms around someone's shoulder, his best friend since childhood: Na Jaemin, Taeyong's younger brother, who would be pretty and cute too if it wasn't for the bastard smile. Yukhei walked to them, but stopped when he heard a particular and too familiar voice. It was Mark Lee, Jeno's older brother, who was his best friend until Yukhei said he wanted to leave that town, and Mark would never make it. There was something else Mark could never forget nor forgive, but Yukhei couldn't say what it was yet.

"Jeno yah, Jaemin ah! I got it", exclaimed.

He froze in his place and saw him with a bag (full of beer) in one and a box of cigarettes in the other, Mark reached Jeno and handed him the bag. Then he looked in front of him, where Yukhei was. It was the face he remembered from two or three years ago, the last time they properly talked, the face of a little boy who seemed to do nothing wrong. Mark's gaze wasn't warm nor welcoming, it was cold, hostile and his lips were a thin line. The kind he did every time he was really upset. Mark took Jeno for one of his elbows.

"Guys, we leavin'"

Mark took Jeno to the other side of the road, but Jaemin stayed, eyes sparkling but not like Chenle's, more like a cartoon villain. And Yukhei remembered himself why he was walking to them in first instance: they pushed Chenle, his little brother, he wasn't allowing his brother being bullied while he was around. Yukhei reached Jaemin and grabbed him for his shirt, he took advantage of his height and being more muscular than Jaemin to shake him violently. While Jaemin kept thatt gaze on his eyes, Mark and Jeno were screaming his name from the other side, like he wasn't being treated by Yukhei. Jaemin was calm, he seemed not paying attention to have only his toes on the ground and his shirt ruined by someone very much bigger, he looked like he allowed Yukhei to grab him in the first place.

"Welcome home, hyung", said, taking Yukhei's hold between his thin hands with more strength than Yukhei could ever thought and easily slipped out of his grip. "Send my regards to Taeyong, if he remembers his little brother".

Jaemin turned around and, without looking, started to crossing the road. Chenle grabbed his arm and asked for leaving, but Yukhei didn't move. Na Jaemin was almost on the middle of the street, laughing at joke Mark just screamed, when a car crash him.


	2. hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it took me forever, but I finally bring you the second part of the story.
> 
> Please enjoy and leave lots of kudos and comments.

“I won’t go back there!”, he screamed, maybe for the tenth time, but Taeyong wasn’t hearing.

“It’s Jaemin. I can’t ignore him anymore!”, Taeyong screamed back for the first time since their discussion started, and began to cry at the same time.

Yuta kept quiet, just looking at his best friend. He knew he was being unfair, he tried to  understand what must feel being in Taeyong’s shoes, but he had no brothers, could he fully understand Taeyong? What he did knew was he kept Taeyong in Seoul, forcing him to ignore the existence of that hell hole for almost three years (and consequently, ignore Jaemin), because Taeyong wasn’t strong or brave enough to go back by his own. And maybe, he was being unfair, rejecting without listening a word.

But wasn’t unfair for him too? To go back to the place where all his nightmares became true? Where he almost died at least six times? He liked to think in Taeyong as his equal, they could understand each other better than Johnny or Yukhei. Taeyong and Yuta lived miserable lives, they crept on the same dirtiness, hid from Doyoung and Jaehyun and their cruelty, even ate the same crap to survive. Taeyong understood him. Yuta chose Taeyong because he was an orphan like him, someone he could really trust, but it seemed like Yuta never understood Taeyong.

After all, Taeyong had a family, or maybe a bad parody of one, but it was more than what Yuta had. He was adopted by a monster, but that monster gave him a brother, Na Jaemin. And that bastard became everything to Taeyong, his whole world, while Yuta was there, but wasn’t anymore the most important. Yuta forced Taeyong to leave after they graduated, promising they’ll take Jaemin when he graduated or the monster disappeared… Yuta knew they could have Jaemin with them since a year ago, a letter said his “father” died, but Yuta never told Taeyong. He burned the letter and kept the secret. It was better if they wait until Jaemin was old enough, and maybe Taeyong would see he didn’t need anything else than Yuta.

They were supposed to be free, but Taeyoung couldn’t forget his past thanks to Jaemin. Taeyong cried every time he knew something about Jaemin, it was really a shame Taeyong was still in contact with Moon Taeil. If Jaemin’s grades were bad or got in any trouble, when he was almost expelled for smoking inside the school building, if he was hanging out with Taeil’s weird younger brother… He cried in Yuta’s arms, blaming himself for being a coward, for not being there. Taeyong was still too connected to that place and Yuta hated that, hated Jaemin for being the cause. All he wanted was Jaemin to disappear.

The next morning, they were supposed to took  their bags and start their excursion. It was Kun’s idea, a brilliant one, he just wanted to put as many distance as he could between himself and that place, so he wouldn’t feel tempted to go back. He knew his younger brother would live there instead of him. For some crazy reason Yuta never understood, Kun’s parents lived with one kid a time. Everyone, except for Yukhei and Doyoung agreed, even Jung Jaehyun. But Yukhei apparently didn’t remember anything and Doyoung was crazy, though only he and Jaehyun knew it. Then every plan went down when Yukhei called Taeyong and said Jaemin suffered a car accident and was calling for him while sleeping. Of course, Taeyong broke, bad news for Yuta. Of course, he wanted to go back, worse news for Yuta. He just couldn’t.

The door opened after two softs knocks and Jaehyun’s face appeared shyly. He was still ashamed to talk to them, even when Taeyong (and Yuta, against his will) forgave him. A normal response taking in count he almost drowned Taeyong where they thirteen. 

“Guys, you’re screaming and…” he started to talk, but stopped abruptly when he saw Taeyong trying to clean his tears and stop sobbing.

Jaehyun never entered to his room, but he stormed inside and went directly to hug Taeyong. Jaehyun looked at Yuta as if he had done something horrible and he almost laughed.It was true he was more scared of Doyoung, but he didn’t trust in Jaehyun and Jaehyun didn’t trust in him, though they still had to be together because they were the only ones knowing everything. Yuta hated them all, but especially he hated the hypocrite and liar Jung Jaehyun.

“Don’t touch Taeyong”, he said. Jaehyun didn’t move. “Stop now”.

That time, Jaehyun moved to cup Taeyong’s face and made him to look at his face, with Yuta witnessing all. With his thumbs, he cleaned the tears and Taeyong left him and even stopped crying. Yuta had to admit Taeyong looked pretty and, of course, Jaehyun smiled. He had a soft spot for Taeyong, Yuta knew it was a crush he was carrying for years. Jaehyun would do anything Taeyong asked for.

_ Awesome. _

Yuta couldn’t stand anymore and left the room. He went to the living and sat on the only sofa, stretching his legs and laying uncomfortably. Their place was small and had thin walls. In all those years, he had hear discussions, fights, a suicide attempt and a couple fucking every night, and surely his neighbours heard his fights with Taeyong, including that one. Plus, they only locked their door when they were either sleeping or outside and most of his friend lived in the same building, so it wasn’t weird seeing them around, but Yuta cursed on that. He wished he locked the door to maintain Jaehyun outside. If Jaemin wasn’t dying, he could convince Taeyong to not go.

Someone else entered to the apartment and saw it was Sicheng (or Winwin, if someone didn’t know how to pronounce it). He shove his legs and make and space for him to sat in the same sofa.

“What’s that face for?”, he asked. There was something on his voice that made Yuta felt calm. He liked Sicheng.

“Taeyong and I fought”, Yuta said and sighed. Sicheng put a hand on one of his knees.

“You better made that up. Jungwoo got his father's car. It might break your heart that we won't camping right next the road, but we all prefer a car” Sicheng said, smiling. Maybe he was trying to make him feel better, Yuta thought. He was sure Sicheng never spoke this much to him, or anyone, he was really quiet. He liked it.

“It doesn't matter. Taeyong isn't coming, and I'm almost sure Jaehyun neither”.

“That's what you two were fighting about?”

Before he could say yes, that's the reason, the door opened again and their group stormed inside. They were loud, but without Yukhei they seemed more quiet. After all, it was just Kun, Jungwoo, Johnny, Ten and surprisingly Doyoung, except for Ten, they were all silent. Seven of them should be preparing to go to the trip of their lives, but Yuta thought some shit would happen now Taeyong was coming back. He needed to talk with Kun, in private. Yuta tried to make eye contact, but the other was too occupied smiling and whispering with Jungwoo.

“Where's Jaehyun?”, Doyoung asked and every drop of calmness Sicheng gave him before disappeared and was replaced by Doyoung. Unpleasant.

“Not here”, he answered as cold as he could.

Sicheng noticed and pressed his hand on his knee again, Jungwoo shut and everyone looked at him and his sharp features. Jaehyun and him, despite hating and not trusting each other, never let anyone else notice. Even if it was especially hard for Yuta look at the psychotic and bunny face of Doyoung, he would do it like nothing was troubling him. But he was so mad and so vulnerable, he wasn't really thinking straight.

“He fought with Taeyong. He's sensitive”, Sicheng said. Doyoung cold stare, only noticeable by Yuta apparently, was completely on him, demanding answers.

“He’s with Taeyong”.

Doyoung looked at Taeyong’s door, coldly and mad. Doyoung wasn’t Jaehyun, Doyoung possibly remembered everything (Yuta could never be sure, even if Jaehyun insisted he didn’t). but he didn’t care, never apologized, and treated them as inferior beings. Yuta hated how much he was full of himself, always smiling cocky and talking like he knew everything. He knew shit, he was just a bunny-faced psychopath with mommy issues.... God, he was so mad.

Taeyong’s door opened and Jaehyung and Taeyong finally appeared. Taeyong wasn’t crying anymore, in fact he was smiling and holding Jaehyun’s hand. He looked away. Sicheng was still by his side, he was trying to make Ten repeat some words in chinese, his voice was clear, soft.... Everything about him was a better show than Taeyong’s behavior. Sicheng had weird bright eyes, he wasn’t looking at any light, but his eyes were sparkling like he was staring at the sun in that moment. It was pretty. Taeyong’s eyes shone like that once. But, still, in Sicheng was a naive aura he had never seen before.

“I have great news!”, Jungwoo said, with that sweet smile of his, “My father will lend us the car!”

 

* * *

 

Yukhei received a call past midnight from an unknown number, which was weird. He was sleeping in Chenle’s room, with his brother taking all the sheets and most of the bed even if his body was smaller. Yukhei felt the vibration against his face, he didn’t he fell asleep like that. Before answering, he got out of bed and opened the window. By that the vibration ended and started again.

When Chenle and Yukhei were kids, they oftenly left the house by the windows, just to feel they were doing something forbidden and were spies. Yukhei used the same method to go to parties when he was supposed to be sleeping or was “being disciplined”, as his parents said. This time, he was doing it to not wake up Chenle. He was jumping out of the window when the vibration ended and started again.

He sat on the sidewalk and answered the phone. Why didn’t he ignored the call? He never answered anything from unknown numbers and his friends knew it, Ten said that was the reason why he had no girlfriends. Yukhei knew it wasn’t that.

“Hello?”

_ “Oh, Yukhei? Did I wake you up?” _

“Taeyong hyung?”

_ “Yes, it’s me. Sorry if I woke you up… I just- I… I’m going back… I want to know how Jaemin is doing right now” _

“I don’t know, hyung… I, uh… I just saw him when it happened… Uh… I heard he’s out of danger, all he got was broken bones”

_ “Is he okay? Who’s paying his hospital bills? Is he eating well? Is… is he alone?” _

“I don’t know… I know he’s with this kid… Mark’s little brother. They probably wouldn’t want me there”

Both fell silent, well almost. Taeyong was whispering something to someone else, Yukhei somehow knew it was too intimate for him to listen, so he looked at the sky. Stars in Seoul were almost invisible, stars there were nothing better, but Yukhei felt warm inside by looking at that. He was at home, but also he wanted to be with his friends. If he was with his friends, he’d also wanted to be at home. Yukhei was never satisfied. He got his scholarship, his dream to live in a big city, in the centre of the world, but still something was missing. Maybe it was everything that was missing. A meaning.

“Hyung, hyung! Are you  coming, right?”

_ “Oh, what? Oh, yes, yeah. I’m going” _

“Why didn’t you call from your own phone”

_ “It died. Jaehyun is taking care of all of that since I’m not functioning well now…” _

“Jaehyun hyung? This is Jaehyun hyung’s number?”

_ “Yes. He’s coming with me” _

It had sense. Yukhei didn’t have Jaehyun’s number listed.

 

* * *

 

Johnny was the best driver, coincidentally he only needed one or two hours of sleep to keep functioning for the next thirty six hours. So he became the designated driver for the trip. All of his friends were sleeping behind him, except for Ten who was looking for good songs at 2 am in the radio.

That trip was something weird. To be honest, he didn’t understand why they were heading that way when the plan was going to the whole opposite direction. They were supposed to go to some mountain and do climbing, Johnny was excited by that. But after a discussion, they changed the plan to go to a beach, on the other side of Korea, and left Taeyong and Jaehyun at their hometown on the way. Johnny thought they changed it on purpose. Sometimes, Jungwoo was just too good.

Their hometown was his hometown too, Johnny just couldn’t say it. He never felt that place his home, he has never felt any place as his home. He came back some months, year ago…, he couldn’t remember. He knew it was for his mother’s funeral… or was his father’s? He never thought about it, he never thought about anything.

“Are you alright?”

Ten voice was a whispering he barely heard. Johnny saw his worried eyes, and tried to smile. Sometimes, Ten made him nervous, he was able to know if someone felt good or not, to see through any smile and read the soul… At least, Ten always knew about Johnny.

“Yeah”, he answered. “It’s just… it’s far”.

“If you’re tired, we can stop and sleep, or I can drive”.

“It’s not that… I haven’t been there in a while, y’know? Makes me feel funny. Last time I was there was for my mother’s funeral”.

Johnny remembered the funeral, now completely sure it was his mother’s. Except for him and his father, they were three or four persons more, his mother wasn’t really loved. Probably Taeyong wanted to be there, giving him the  _ support  _ he needed because he was like that, but Johnny didn’t need any kind of support. He only really breathed, for the first time in his life, when he saw her corpse been buried. She wasn’t coming back, she will never come back. But she still haunted him in his nightmares, sometimes disguising as his father, as his friends, as Ten…, but it was her. It was always her.

“Oh… I’m sorry, I had no idea”

“No one has.”

“You’re weird, Johnny Seo”

They felt silent again. Ten couldn’t find any song he liked, so he turned off the radio and fell asleep. Maybe Johnny was tired after all, but their hometown was only one hour ahead, he could wait until Taeyong and Jaehyun left, and he’ll feel better.

The sun started to come out. Johnny knew they were near, he recognized the streets and trees, everyone was still asleep, so he stopped to wake up Taeyong and Jaehyun. Jaehyun woke first, pale face, and he told Johnny he would take care of Taeyong. It was something odd to see how Jaehyun worried about Taeyong, treating him like he was fragile and could break in any moment. He knew it wasn’t for how thin Taeyong was or how easy was for him to cry, he knew it was something else and had to do with the fact that he always avoided Doyoung.

His psychiatrist kept saying in was because the insomnia  he couldn’t remember most things and maybe some trauma they haven’t discovered yet but it was linked to his mother. It meant that, even if he and Yukhei, Kun, Doyoung, Yuta and Taeyong shared hometown, he couldn’t remember most of the things that happened there, but he always remembered how to head back the town. It felt bad, being the only one who didn’t know what kind of nonsense they use to do as kids.

Everyone of them seemed to have that… close relationship with each other. Jaehyun barely left Doyoung alone, but he always had his eyes on Taeyong, every move he took.Yukhei and Kun said they were close because they were both chinese, but Johnny knew it was something else. Kun was shy and was the one of the few who still had a family to call and never called them, not even on holidays. Yukhei was the whole opposite, he dragged Kun to all of his reunions and could make Kun talk with stones, not because he wanted to, but more like he own Yukhei that and could die for him if he was ask to.

And of course, Yuta. Yuta who was Taeyong’s shadow, who said if Taeyong would like something or not, if anything was good for him or not. Johnny pretended he didn’t hear their discussion, but he clearly heard when Taeyong screamed he never talked to his younger brother again for him and that he couldn’t ignore it anymore. And tried to ignore how Yuta looked so defeated when Taeyong took Jaehyun’s hand to thank him for join him. To Yuta, life was an open wound, always bleeding.

When Johnny entered in the town, they were all woke up.

“We should eat something”, Jungwoo said.

“We-we could eat on our way to the beach, right?”

“Don’t be mean, Kun hyung. Johnny hyung needs to rest too. Right, hyung?”

“Oh? Oh… yes, please”.

 

* * *

 

 

 

He started to bite his nail when he saw the hospital, when they were reaching the entrance, his finger was bleeding, he buried the hand inside his pocket. He couldn’t move. He knew he needed to get to the front desk and ask for Na Jaemin, because he was his older brother, then he had to find the room and see his brother. It was easy to say, not to do. He couldn’t move because he knew Jaemin hated him.

They were close, since he arrived to his house. He protected Jaemin, fed him, cleaned him and comforted him. Jaemin was his world. And when he graduated, instead of waiting for the three years Jaemin needed to graduate too and leave with him, he left. Yuta told him it would be easier for both of them if Taeyong already knew Seoul city and he believed him. Then, Yuta kept saying things and Taeyong kept believing it, waiting for the day Jaemin would graduate and be a legal adult, so they could both leave that town, that man behind. It was easier for Taeyong believing in Yuta than facing reality. In reality, Jaemin suffered because Taeyong couldn’t protect him anymore. In reality, Jaemin hated him.

“Hey, it’s alright. I’m with you”.

Jaehyun’s hand was on his shoulder and Taeyong felt a thousand times better. He smiled, nodded and went directly to the front desk to ask for Na Jaemin.

 

* * *

 

“You don’t have to come here every day. It’s only a broken leg, I will be out any day”.

“But you’re still not out. It’s been a few days, what if it’s more than a broken leg”

“I’m not out just because my… legal guardian won’t come to sign the fucking documents”.

Jeno could believe him, but he never trusted in anyone. Only Jaemin. But Jaemin liked to hide his pain. They never really talked about it, but Jeno knew Jaemin hid why he always was so bruised, though Jeno could imagine the reason. Everyone knew the reason and no one did nothing about it.

Jaemin wasn’t nice, it wasn’t his style. He didn’t like kind things, that was, maybe, the reason he liked Jeno in the first place. But Jaemin himself was kind, and that was what Jeno liked about him. Jaemin never hugged him, actually they never touched each other, but he said the proper things to make him feel good or to comfort him when he felt like shit. He knew Jaemin would never hurt him, but Jaemin would hid things, so he trusted and he did not.

It was complicate between them. Jeno was always surrounded by complicate stuff, but Jaemin was a different complicate. Everything with Jaemin felt natural and easy, they almost always felt the same sensations or they could understand each other perfectly. Even when Jeno felt sick when Jaemin hung out with that nerd of Huang Renjun and convinced Mark to kick his smelly chinese ass. Or when he had a girlfriend and Jaemin refused to talk to him until he broke up with her. Because they only had each other.

Sure, Mark and Taeil were his blood-related brothers, but it was just because three different men buried their dicks in the same woman, not because Jeno really liked them. He chose Jaemin and Jaemin chose him. They could have a decent life together.

He was trying to make Jaemin eat something when the door opened, probably one of the nurses. But he didn’t saw any white uniform. He saw a young handsome face that belonged to just one person in the whole universe: Lee Taeyong, the fucking Lee Taeyong.

“Jaemin ah…”

Jeno saw how Jaemin’s face became pure stone and his eyes fire. Taeyong was frozen, while someone else patted his shoulder… Jeno didn’t recognize him, but he stood next to Jaemin, waiting for him to ask him anything and wishing ut was to punch Taeyong in the face. When the older tried to approach to his brother, Jeno covered him with his body.

“If you come any closer, I’ll kick your ass”

“The fuck, Jeno. Don’t wait that long, just take him out.”

And Jeno smiled, because Jaemin didn’t like nice things and Taeyong was too nice to any of them.

 

* * *

 

Yukhei knew Taeyong was coming back, but he never expected to see everyone coming back with him. Kun clarified they weren’t “coming back”, they brought Taeyong and they’ll leave again, Yukhei was free to join them. And of course, Yukhei wanted to, like crazy. He had been in his house for three days, but he only felt good when he was outside with Chenle. Inside the house, his brother changed completely. He didn’t eat, didn’t laugh and barely looked anything else beside books and his own feet. No one listened music or watched TV anymore. Yukhei wanted to change that, but every minute he felt his energy going to somewhere else and forgetting he needed it right there.

When he heard Kun’s voice over the phone, he almost made his luggages again and left to a real vacation. But then, he remembered Chenle. How Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin treated him, how he looked so down and only spoke with his friends Renjun and Jisung one in three days. Chenle said he wanted him to leave, but how could leave knowing his brother was drowning? He told Kun he would think about it.

They invited him to eat breakfast and Yukhei took Chenle with him. He dragged him out of the bed, forced him to put some decent clothes and took him out of the house, but as always, he brighten up when they reach the avenue. His parent were like too, looked like ghosts inside the house and they never left the house with him, so he didn’t know if the brighten up too or were the same.

He liked to tease his brother saying he never stops talking, but actually Chenle was very shy. It was for him to make friend and harder to communicate in Korean, he was always insecure whether if he was pronouncing well or not, even if his Korean was miles better than Yukhei’s. Even if he knew some of the persons, he wasn’t expecting Chenle to talk. And he was right, he barely say his and nice to meet yous, and he felt completely silent, focusing only in his meal.

It was the most uncomfortable breakfast Yukhei ever had. Yuta stayed in the car, Kun was sweating and asked Chenle where Huang Renjun was at least three times every five or so minutes. Johnny wasn’t eating or talking, he seemed more like sleeping with his eyes open. Only Doyoung was comfortable, making jokes with Winwin, Ten and Jungwoo.

Jungwoo… Kim Jungwoo… Yukhei was surprised that someone could have a pretty, soft baby face like him, and his voice was just as sweet as his face. It had to be a lie, it couldn’t be real. Jungwoo always sat with his back straight and his hands moved elegantly, making him look like a prince or a fairy or the prince of fairies. He looked like a paiting. On the opposite side, was Yukhei itself. Loud, clumsy and looking like grass, tall grass.

Jungwoo had complete control of his voice tone, he laughed with delicacy and was funny at the same time. When Yukhei looked at him, he thought he was the most perfect creating made by God, and he wasn’t religious. He asked Kun if he was in love, Kun said he was totally crushed and Yukhei panicked because  _ him being gay? _ But Kun laughed and said it had nothing with being gay, and Jungwoo was really feminine when he wanted to. Yukhei agreed, because long-haired Jungwoo was the superior Jungwoo.

“I have to admit I was really curious to know where you grew up”, he said, looking directly at Yukhei.

“Have you?”

“Yes. After all, you weren’t going with me to vacation for coming to this place… I’m still curious.”

Yukhei had to drink half of his glass of soda because he just felt his throat too dry. Yukhei may be dumb to many things, but flirting wasn’t one of them. He did it all the time in college, even if he was sighing for Kim Jungwoo, because he never really thought Kim Jungwoo would know he was alive. And because he wasn’t attracted to men or anything. Everyone knew Jungwoo did was attracted to other men, handsome masculine men, like Johnny Seo or Jung Jaehyun. But still, Jungwoo had his pretty, little and shiny eyes fixed in him. He hear Ten and Winwin laughing.

“A-and can I do anything to help you?”, he asked and he cursed himself for being so awkward. Jungwoo smiled.

“Take me on a date, then.”

Yukhei was about to say sure and some cheesy pickup line, when the waitress approached to their table.

“The van outside it’s yours?”, she asked. Jungwoo looked at her concern, but nodded.

“An electricity pole just fallen on it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos and comments :)


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